With any given beej, things can deteriorate quickly. First of all, every other thing that goes back to that same spot in your throat—like a strep test swab, that tonsil depressor thing doctors use, any hair, ever—generally triggers gag time. And some people just have terrible gag reflexes! I did, for the first thirty years of my life. For a long time, giving oral sex—all that motion! For a while, I thought about cold, sweet ice cream, and it worked. But this was not a satisfactory solution. And over the years I thought not just of the pleasure it gave, but the pleasure it gave me to give that pleasure, and like so many activities one can pursue in life, as I got better at it, I liked it more. Even when you like it!

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Now kittens, before we get started, let me first say that in life, the highs can be breathtakingly high and the lows, well, they can run deeply low. But only from the lows in life can you learn how to truly climb to the top. So close your pretty eyes, as I take you on this epic, life-changing journey of what was truly one of my life's highest uphill climbs. I was hanging out with my boyfriend at the time, Luke. Luke was pretty. Girl pretty. He had long, blonde, fluttering eyelashes set off by ethereal seafoam green eyes.
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