But I'm trying to determine how much of that behavior is truly down to his profession, and how much of it is him not being very into me or just selfish and unwilling to compromise even if that selfishness is a byproduct of his residency, and not how he would be in other circumstances. This is legitimately how it is for most dudes in Mormondumb. Cuddling is not demanding. My current atheism bothers him a little but as long as we respect each other it's fine. These same principles have helped build strong, successful religious communities for thousands of years. If it's true, it'll come out of the criticism looking better. Distance is hard, being away from family is tough, but in a way having only "each other" made our marriage so strong. You can have all the time in the world and not be committed. Same goes for holidays-flip a coin.
If this happens, it might click something in her mind that says that what she experienced was pleasurable and she would like to have it again. Just talk to her honestly, and if you have to, use the old wonder of logic. Put your best foot forward; be soft-spoken, courteous, well-mannered, chivalrous, and respectful. My husband gives the very best of himself to the hospital and the staff and patients every day. She honestly believes that she has the truth, and that if you are exposed to it enough you will recognize that. After residency, depending on what specialty they do, there will be a separate set of rules of how they have to give their time oncall, early surgery times, working holidays etc. There are some gems like admission to peep stone in a hat translation to the book of Mormon and angels with swords commanding polygamy, but if someone believes Joseph Smith really did stuff his face into a hat and translate scriptures about ancient jews coming to America, it means they are insane, and you can't reason with an insane person. She got engaged 3 months later.
You can have all the time in the world and not be committed. He has changed a lot throughout this process, but I don't know what he will be like once we are finished. Also, as Joanna points out, men and women already inhabit a separate culture. But the idea of marrying my husband felt right from almost the get-go and, my patriarchal blessing made so much more sense. Good luck and best wishes as you head back out into the dating pool. It's the 1 issue in our relationship. Not all of us are able to achieve that ideal but we are to strive for it. I was born and raised in the LDS faith.
My brother is in medical school, and many of my friends are in their clerkship or already doing their residencies. I have been on both sides of this situation, and I know how much it sucks to feel like you're doing everything you can to make it as easy and convenient as possible for the other person to spend time with you, but theyre still not seeing you all that much, and you think they should be able to give you a little more. I think it might be worth trying.